My Thoughts on Labor

The tub

I said that I would post about my thoughts regarding my labor and birth but am just getting around to doing it now. Going into labor, I had every intention to try and have a natural labor and delivery with no interventions at all. I just couldn't believe it when my water broke after laying down to go to bed and was in denial probably the entire night that my water had actually broke thinking that maybe I just had an accident (haha). With my water breaking around 10pm and feeling no contractions at all by 8am, I knew that I would have to be induced. When your water breaks, most practitioners want to have the baby out in the next 24 hours to reduce the chance of infection. I was induced at 11am the next morning and was just fine with it considering that I was having no contractions and didn't want to have a c-section because things weren't progressing.

By noon, my contractions were pretty consistent and I was already starting to lightly breathe through them. I found a position that worked sitting cross-leg and then rocking back and forth side to side when the contractions were intense. I pretty much sat like this all day with my eyes closed not talking to anyone (poor Kyle and my mom were just sitting there). Around 5 or 6pm (I think) I was checked and just at 5 centimeters which meant that I could get into the tub. I was really excited thinking that this would help relieve some of the pressure since it was so beneficial when I was having braxton hicks at home. I was definitely wrong though and I hated the tub!! I couldn't find a comfortable position and I kept floating to the top which made it hard during contractions. After about thirty minutes, I wanted out! I tried the birthing ball, different positions on the bed, walking to the bathroom and back, sitting on the toilet, standing up, but nothing worked except sitting cross-leg and rocking side to side.

After the tub, I was so exhausted and started to fall asleep between contractions. The midwife told me in one of my appointments that the main reason people get an epidural is because of fatigue and that is definitely what happened. Around 8pm, I told Kyle and my mom that I couldn't stand the contractions anymore and wanted some relief. I think that they were a little shocked that I said that but I had been contemplating it for some time before bringing it up to them. Of course they thought that I wasn't serious and didn't want me to be mad at them later so they kept asking if I was sure. I reassured them that I would not be mad at them. The nurses called the midwife in and she said that she would check me first and then talk about our options. I was only dilated to 6 centimeters which was not as far along as everyone thought that I would be. The midwife said that if I was an 8 she would have persuaded me not to have the epidural but since I was only 6 and feeling so tired she agreed that maybe it was a good idea in order to have enough energy to push. I forgot to mention that Lauren was kicking the contraction and heart rate monitor off my stomach the entire time so nurses were constantly in the room holding my monitors in place which didn't help with getting rest. The epidural didn't hurt at all but it was rough since I had a big contraction while they were putting it in place and you aren't allowed to move at all. Once the epidural was in place, it was instant relief which was amazing! Kyle and my mom came back into the room and I was a whole new person. I actually talked to the nurses and felt good, more like myself. Around 1am, the midwife came back in to check me and I was ready to go. It was difficult to push since I had no sensation and no idea where to direct the pressure of my pushes which could have contributed to a long pushing time (2 hours). Probably the last half an hour of pushing I had sensation back and was able to direct more of my pushing. I found the best positions with the squatting bar. Pushing really wore me out and often I would find myself pretending that I wasn't having a contraction so I could just rest instead of push. Also, after not eating and sleeping for so long, I felt really sick and was throwing up during labor and pushing. I kept telling Kyle that I felt intoxicated and dizzy.

Needless to say, I don't regret any decisions that were made about the induction (midwife choice) or epidural (my choice). I think without the epidural, I would not have had the energy to push. I am glad that I was able to go beyond the 24-hour window after my water had broke and ultimately glad that I did not have to have a c-section. Knowing what the epidural feels like now, I think that it might be difficult to not have another one in the future, especially now that I know how sleep-deprived you get!

To all you mommas out there: do what you need to do to manage the pain and don't feel guilty about it or let anyone else make you feel guilty about it!