Life Outside the Windy City

We switched from a hospital birth midwife to a homebirth midwife around 14 weeks. We (probably more I) was having a hard time processing through Lauren's labor/delivery and was concerned with our previous midwife that we would have a similar experience if the situations were alike. We attended a consultation with the homebirth practice and felt comfortable and safe in their care. We understand home is not the atmosphere that a fair share of people want to labor and deliver their children in, so we only shared it with family and friends that we knew would be supportive of our decision and encourage us through the process without casting their own anxieties/fears onto us. We definitely didn't want non-supportive comments and anxieties of others to be in the back of our mind during labor/delivery.

July 15th (Sunday), Lauren and I went to a baptism at church, said goodbye to Uncle Ryan and Aunt Amanda who were visiting, and made our way over to our friend's house for the baptism party. We spent just about the entire day playing outside and eating delicious food. I was feeling great and joked with all my friends that it was going to be awhile before this baby decided it was time; they didn't agree. We went on our nightly 2 mile walk and I could tell the baby was much lower than before. Towards the end of the walk I told Kyle I was done because it wasn't comfortable walking anymore. We got Lauren in bed and we went down around 10:30.

Around 1:00am (Monday, July 16th), I woke up with some nice cramping and pretty consistent contractions. This was a nightly occurrence for me so I didn't think much of it. After laying in bed for about 30 minutes, I decided to just get up and read some blogs. I started the contraction timer on my Ipad and noticed they were about 4 minutes apart and 50 seconds long but very manageable. I would read blogs and then close my eyes and breathe through each contraction when they came. I was getting pretty uncomfortable sitting so I went out to the kitchen and started doing the dishes, got some laundry started, and picked up the house.

I was very much in denial that this was the "real thing" so I woke Kyle up around 3:30am to see what he thought. I handed him the Ipad and told him to start keeping track since I had stopped while on my cleaning spree. After about 10 minutes he felt like I needed to call the midwife and let her know what was going on. I called her and she decided to send the nurse out just in case things would progress quickly but asked that we find a space for her to sleep since it was still early. Kyle and I went downstairs and got the guest bed set up and ready, then came back up to fill the waterbirth tub up, and get the protective sheet on the mattress in our room. It took awhile to get everything set up and ready but helped keep me moving and distracted. When I would have a contraction, I would either lean over the bed or pile of pillows in our room. I decided to wait until the nurse got to our house and access the situation before calling our doula. I was still very much in denial and didn't want people with young children getting out of bed in the middle of the night for nothing. About 30 minutes after calling the midwife, my doula called and said she was on her way. The nurse had called her and told her to come over since she was closer. The doula was about 30 minutes away and the nurse 1 hour. Shortly after that, things intensified a bit. I noticed I could no longer breathe through contractions but had to moan a bit to let some of the tension out of body. The nurse called to say that she was about 30 minutes away. I attempted talking to her through a contraction but it was not successful. She decided to call the midwife and have her start making her way over since she was 1 hour away and they weren't sure how fast I would progress since Lauren's labor was induced.

The doula made it to our house around 5:00am. I was managing my contractions by laying over the ottoman in our living room. The breaks between contractions were AMAZING! I didn't think I would get absolute relief between contractions since I was induced with pitocin with Lauren and never experienced that. Each time I would get a break, I was able to regain my composure and mentally prepare for the next one. Our doula, Jessica, was super helpful. She immediately told Kyle how to apply counter-pressure to my hips and rear during each contraction and then she would slowly roll her hand down my back at the same time. I am really not the person that likes physical contact and people touching me but that was exactly what I needed.

When the nurse arrived, she started opening up our birth kit supplies that were shipped to our house and accessing the situation. She asked me if I wanted to be checked and I said yes but I wanted to wait a few contractions (I was still in denial). I was also a bit concerned about how I would handle the answer if she said I wasn't far along. After a nice big contraction, I agreed to be checked and was surprised to find that I was 7 centimeters and my cervix was thinned out in the front. She told me I needed to change positions from the ottoman because the way I was leaning over was causing my cervix to thin in only one spot. We decided to move back to the bedroom and try a few contractions laying down on my side.

Kyle decided it was time to send Lauren to the neighbors as well just in case things picked up quick; she had been sleeping the entire time. In-between contractions, they brought her into the bedroom and let me tell her goodbye; that was difficult for me. I cried through a few contractions not because they hurt but because I knew Lauren's life was going to drastically change and this was the last time I would hold her as an only child. She on the other hand, was excited to visit the neighbors, and even more marveled at the tub in the living room. She told Kyle as he was walking her out, "Mom, what is this pool doing in our living room?"

The midwife came around 6:30am and suggested that I get into the tub. She felt like it would speed things up a bit and help get the rest of my cervix ready. I was reluctant but agreed and hopped into the tub. The water was a bit too warm for me (I am not a bath person) but helped intensify the contractions and get baby ready. I could feel the changes in my stomach and different movement which let me know the end was probably near. I asked the doula when I could start pushing and she said, whenever you feel the desire to. I was surprised that no one was going to "give me permission" to push or check me to make sure that I was ready; they trusted I knew what my body was doing. I noticed the noises coming out of me during contractions were changing and getting more "pushy" sounding. After a good 30 minutes in the tub, I decided to get out because I was getting warm and a bit dizzy. The midwife loaded me up with fluids and gave me an energy gel packet to give me an extra boast.

I pushed for a bit on my hands and knees in the bed but was getting exhausted and switched to sitting on the bed and pulling my legs back. While on my hands and knees, my water bag practically exploded. I had honestly forgotten it was still intact and we were all shocked with the burst; for a spilt second I thought it was the baby that burst through. The baby's head was a bit stuck on my pelvis and the midwife suggested sitting on the toilet. I was not to keen on that idea because I had a few contractions while emptying my bladder on the toilet and they were not pleasant. After trying a squatting position on the edge of the bed, I agreed to the toilet.

It was such a relief! It is funny to process through the birth and think each time the midwife suggested something, I was not a fan, but when I eventually obliged, it worked to my benefit. Because our bodies are used to pushing things out of us on the toilet, it felt much more natural to me and I could get a greater grasp of where I was to direct the pushes. Pushing felt so much better than managing the contractions and I didn't really mind the pain. At one point on the toilet, I could tell the end was nearing because I felt what some people describe as the "ring of fire" when the baby is clearing the cervix. I knew I was not pushing as hard as I could because it was not comfortable. The doula suggested I just mentally put that aside and do what my body was attended to do. I kept thinking, is this it, it is not that painful? After about 2 pushes the head cleared the cervix and it really didn't hurt anymore after that. I quickly glanced down and could see the head getting closer to the edge and decided it was time to leave the restroom before my precious children was born into the toilet. Not really the waterbirth experience I was thinking about. When I told my midwife I might be holding back during pushing, she said, "That is the great thing about our bodies, God designed them to have babies come out even when we aren't trying our hardest."

I went back to the bedroom and leaned over the bed for the rest of pushing in a standing position. Still, my contractions were spaced about 2 minutes apart and the breaks were pain free. At one point, we all looked at each other wondering when the next contraction was coming because the break seemed so long. After a few more pushes, the baby's head came out and then the next contraction the body; it was 8:57am.

It was an instant relief and I could just feel the adrenaline rushing through my body. I peeked at the baby to discover it was a BOY (my intuition was correct). About a minute later everyone else wanted to know (including Kyle) so I let them look. We sat down on the bed and waited for the cord to stop pulsing before clamping it and delivering the placenta. I attempted to nurse but he was much to interested in just snuggling.

Kyle got to hold him while I was examined and stitched back up. I kept telling everyone, "This is so much better than a hospital birth; I feel amazing; that wasn't bad at all". We were undecided on a name but so in love with our little baby boy.

After getting things cleaned up a bit and using the restroom for the first time, we all moved to the living room to relax on the couch. He started nursing right away and was a content little guy.

Our doula made scrambled eggs for everyone, we ate, and chatted a good while before his newborn exam began.

I was shocked to find out he weighed 8lbs. 3 oz. and was 20 inches long; I was guessing around 7.5 lbs. Everyone was out of the house by 11:45am.

We went back to the bed to rest but I had so much energy running through my body I just stared at him and tried to put a name to his face.

We were between 4 names: Graham, Isaac, Isaiah, and Miles. Kyle said he was not a "Graham" and I threw out "Isaiah" leaving Isaac and Miles left. The middle name was going to be "Harvey" regardless as it is the name of my maternal grandfather who passed away in 2003. After our little rest, Kyle ran to the store to get Lauren a big sister gift (a spin toothbrush, Berenstain Bears New Baby book, and a balloon) as well as a balloon for the mailbox to alert out neighbors. I am sure they knew what was going on with three cars in the front yard and women wearing scrubs in the house. After Kyle returned we both said "Miles" was our favorite name for him because he was so content and mild-mannered.

Lauren came back to our house around 3:00 to meet her new baby brother.

She kept telling us how cute he was and talking in a sweet baby voice to him.

That night, Kyle and Lauren went to the bakery to buy some cupcakes so we could sing "Happy Birthday" to Miles. I had every intention of making a cake during labor but it went much quicker than anticipated!

Overall, it was such a pleasant and mildly pain-free birth. I think mentally, I knew what my body was intended to do and that the baby had to come out. Medication and medical intervention were not an option which eased my mind and let my body do what it was meant to do. IT WAS AWESOME! Our support staff did exactly what they were meant to do, support us!

Our doula provided just the right words of affirmation and suggestions. The midwife and nurse spent the majority of the time in our kitchen crocheting, chatting, and sipping coffee. When they could hear my noises changing during contractions they would come check on me and then retreat back to the kitchen. They let me labor in peace and were not intrusive at all. I am so glad I got the opportunity to experience a home birth and hope to do it again in the near future :)

Miles is 1 week old already! The first week seems to always be a blur of realizing you have a baby and learning to adjust. We had family in town for a few days to keep Lauren entertained otherwise it would have probably been pretty disastrous. Even though we had a homebirth, I still had to stay put and recover which isn't as easy compared to being confined to a hospital bed.

Miles is doing AWESOME! The midwife returned to our house 1 and 3 days after he was born. They check his vitals and make sure he is eating good. The biggest difference we discovered (and appreciated) was that he was not weighed. We were curious to see if nursing was going successfully but she mentioned that it is expected he will lose weight and there is no reason to confirm it or stress out mom which might impact supply. On Friday, we took him to his first pediatrician appointment. He weighed 8lbs. 3 oz. (back to birth weight already) and was 20.25 inches long. The pediatrician said most babies return to birth weight at 2 weeks...I guess nursing on demand really works!

He has been sleeping with us in our bed. We tried the bassinet by our bed a few times and whenever I laid him down he cried. I figure as long as he is eating and sleeping, I am not going to mess with it. He will generally sleep 3-4 hours before waking up for a diaper change and feeding. He rarely cries just starts to rut around and suck on his hand.

We've made it out of the house a few times which helps keep Lauren entertained and my mental state in check. I am not a "homebody" and it will be nice when I have the energy to hit up some play dates soon!

And just so she is not out-shined by her little brother, here is Lauren's latest outfit! Can you believe this was her last Halloween costume and the tag says 6-9 months...??

Getting to hold him!

First trip out of the house at 4 days to eat breakfast with Grandma and Grandpa at the hotel.

First bath at 4 days old. He was not a fan! The pediatrician said his skin would probably start peeling soon and sure enough shortly after his first bath it has started. His cord stump fell off at 4 days old too.